When we get married, we are entering into a spiritual, emotional, and business agreement with the expectation that it will be a life-long arrangement. When the relationship of this level dissolves, even if it is an agreeable and mutual decision, there is often still pain and confusion, especially when there are children involved.
The best conditions for separation are when both parties communicate openly and work well together while looking out for everyone’s best interests. To this end, a collaborative divorce process can help the transition go more smoothly. The Wisconsin collaborative divorce attorneys at the Walney Legal Group understand that a divorce can go one of two ways — negotiations can be successful without a trial, or they can break down and make a trial inevitable. We will work with you to find the best path toward a resolution between you and your former partner. When negotiations are not successful, we have extensive experience in litigation to effectively advocate for your best interests before the court.
Why is January Divorce Month?
January is dubbed “divorce month” because a huge number of divorces are filed across the country each time a new year begins. The November and December holidays keep failing relationships flimsily held together because couples do not want to ruin the magic of these special times of the year by announcing their separation. Troubled couples will keep their plans under wraps throughout the holiday season, and then announce their divorce once January arrives.
The amount of stress that occurs during the holidays is also compounded if couples have to deal with divorce at the same time. So, taking on one challenge at a time, couples will opt to have their family spend one more holiday together and put off the stress of divorce until after the holidays are over. Then when one hurdle is done, the next one is up on the chopping block. As new year’s resolutions come into play, many of these commitments across the country are to put an end to unhealthy or toxic relationships.
There is also the unavoidable magic that the holidays bring. The parties and get-togethers that occur during the holiday season cause a natural break and distraction from couples’ fighting or tension. This small break in stress can make couples believe that they can work things out and find hope that there is the ability to stay together. However, in the harsh and brutal light of the new year and the pain of the holiday hangover, reality comes roaring back.
Then there are the financial implications of a divorce. The end of the year marks the beginning of tax season. Couples who have been filing jointly may want to start fresh with ensuring previous arrangements are resolved before the year is over. This way, a clean break can be made financially and the new year started fresh.
Is there enough evidence to support the claim that divorce is actually seasonal and January deserves the name, “divorce month?” According to a study done by the University of Washington, there is evidence to back the claim that a good majority of divorce happens around the same time of year. The study showed that for the state of Washington, March was the highest month for divorce filings. This may be because there is time-lapse before a divorce can be officially filed. Prospective divorcees will meet multiple times with their lawyers before a filing is prepared. This shows that the process for many separating couples likely starts in January and becomes active by March.
What are Signs That Your Marriage May be Headed for Divorce?
Every couple’s relationship is different. Every person’s intentions, motivation, focus, and will to overcome challenges and make it through adversity differ. There are some red flags that every couple should be aware of which have a proven connection between staying together and breaking apart. Here are a couple:
Strong communication is a crucial element to any strong relationship. It is especially vital among couples. When communication is broken or it falls through the cracks and is no longer meaningful, this is a bad sign. Communication involves both listening and speaking. If you do not bother to communicate about anything deeper than everyday issues, if you do not feel compelled to discuss your feelings or emotions, and if you do not care to listen to your partner, these are signs your marriage may be in trouble.
Disagreements about major life choices and internal needs such as having children make for huge problems. Before you get married, this is a conversation you must have. If you are not on the same page, it is worth the time to take a step back and evaluate what you want in your life before you commit to someone with an opposing view. If you are already married and you are disagreeing, there is little ability to compromise in this area. This is a disagreement difficult to overcome without building resentment.
When distance continues to grow and you become more agreeable to spend increasing time apart, your bond and connection may be weakening.
If you do not care to put the time into repairing your marriage, that may indicate that there are real problems. This does not mean that you cannot get your motivation back, but if you do not care to try, your disinterest is a big indicator that you are on the way out of the relationship.
You do not respect each other and you fight dirty. Below-the-belt arguments and constant criticizing show that when you do not expend an effort liking your partner, you are not going to spend time being nice to them. It is hard to spend time loving the one you are not even treating nicely.
For some, infidelity can be overcome. For others, it is a deal-breaker.
When your lack of intimacy is not related to any other life changes like the addition of children or a life crisis, and it becomes chronic, you are likely growing apart. As such, your relationship evolves into more of a business arrangement than a marriage.
Do You Need a Wisconsin Divorce Attorney?
Fortunately for the residents of Wisconsin, our divorce rate is only 2.5 per 1,000 people. A far cry from the highest rate of divorce in the country which is reported to be in Arkansas. In Arkansas, the divorce rate is 4.1 per 1,000 people. If you are facing a divorce in Wisconsin, the Milwaukee collaborative family law attorneys at the Walney Legal Group are the legal professionals you want to represent your best interests.
Call the Walney Legal Group today and speak with one of our talented Milwaukee divorce attorneys at (414) 775-3780 to discuss your family’s situation during a free consultation.